the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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