hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
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I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize