Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
