You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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