like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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