the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
