Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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