Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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