hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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