I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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