at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
