Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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