And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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