Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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