i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
