So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
