So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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