is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
