oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
