We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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