Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
