He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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