I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
