let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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