Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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