I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
