forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
