I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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