why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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