Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
