I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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