Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
