I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
