Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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