I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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