Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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