i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
