u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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