does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
