im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
