Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
