He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
