I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize