as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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