So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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