Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
