I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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