Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
