he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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