All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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