shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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