Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We left an ass print on the piano.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
