Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
