thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
