I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
