woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
