Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
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IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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