i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
